Ode to a Naked Pool party…

My brother, CJ, saw my use of the “naked pool party pic” and since that specific “party” was the last on he went to, (he is now married, and a 2 yr old!!!), he requested that I list out a “how to” and “the rules” of said pool parties. That pic is one of his favorite memories! HERE YOU GO BRO!!!

With that being said and the promise, that I would immediately dispense the “rules” of a naked pool party. Here I am to keep the journey of the naked going…Here is today’s topic!

Since he is the founder and originator of the “rules” I really can not take the credit, only that I am putting it in writing and sharing it with y’all. CJ started “after hours parties”, because in AZ they used to close all the bars at 1am so that put last call to 12:35am and well, we all have WAY more drinkin’ in us than to go home an go to bed before 3am! LOL ;o) How else are we going to film “girlz gone wild”?????

While at the bar we would round up “victims” of the event and normally it would be about 10-15 people, Drunk, drunker and drunkest, all getting WILD! There I go getting ahead of myself again!

REWIND to before the night started…some time around the crack of noon, we “come to” and venture out into the sunlight. We all head over to the local thrift shop(Big Lots, Wal-Mart, Walgreens, $1 store) buying all the cheesiest water floating devices as possible. These are, but not limited to: water guns, beach balls, tubes, rings…etc. The one REQUIRED float is the one with the holes in it. (see yesterday's post for an example) We get 4-5 of those, 4-5 other toys and pool gadgets and then head to the drive thru liquor store. We get the cheapest 30 pack and head home. (see where this is going?) Then we would “ice down” the beer in a cooler and go about the rest of the day. Sometimes but not always there are left-over’s from the previous weeks and you can skip the buying beer part.

RESUME PLAY: Back at the bar we are all rounding up the latest victims and drunkards for “after hours naked pool party” and in the words of Kid Rock, “smokin’ Drinkin’ tryin’ to free your mind!” LOL :-O LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL!!!!…. That is when the designated “new” guy gets sent to the store to get as much beer as A.) he can afford and B.)the store will let him buy, and return to the bar. Then we drink ‘em up and head out on the caravan to the designated “party house”.

When y’all get there, the designated “retired new guy” loads up the float with the holes in it from the iced down cans( this is key, must get cans) in the cooler. Place the beer in each hole in the float, 18 cans in each of the floats. Figure 2-3 per person to drink, add in that you need a couple of floats per 5-10 people. Pour ice on the top of cans in the floats and now you have the “beer raft” once the beer and Ice are loaded into the pool, the naked swimming must begin and jumping and splashing commences. The only rule at naked swim party is that: Once you get in…You can’t get out until all the beer is gone! NO ONE can get out of the pool, period. So SUCK it down so we can go pee!!! This is what we train for Men/Women so suck it up!!!! WHOOOO HOOOOO….Last man out has to hold his pee pee in his cupped hand and dance around holding the “turtle” ;o) he he he he he he.

And now you all have the recipe for “NAKED pool party” WHOOO HOOO!

(*****DISCLAIMER***** Do not try this at an apt complex, the rent a cops, will make you get out of the pool naked or not, call the local police, site you for drunken behavior and some kind of morality thing about indecency. This could lead to eviction of your residence!!!! EEERRRRRCHHHHHH.) Not that it happened to me or anything!!!