The adventures of Bambi and Sockpuppet….

After yesterdays horrifying and dramatic log, I have opted for some fun humor and to share some of the exciting stories of Bambi and Sockpuppet. Girls travel in pairs or groups. Sockpuppet and I are no different. We went every where together and we just had to be mischievous. I have this uncanny knack of meeting anyone, anywhere, any time. I am sure that I get that from working for an airline for 3 years. You learn to survive and adapt, and striking up a conversation is about timing and opportunity. This night was no exception.

“Bambi gets democulorized”

Sockpuppet and I decided to go to a bar near her house, an Irish pub that has a great authentic Irish band and promises of HOT MEN!!! (Girls are incredibly practical. Close to home, food and drunks looking for some action.) The goal tonight was to go meet some HOT men and drink A LOT of whatever was on special/Tap…same difference, oh yeah, and to do it as cheaply as possible. $$$ First part of the mission accomplished. We arrive at the bar, find a place to stand/sit. I ordered up the drinks and we both bitched about our day. Sockpuppet and I worked together for all of 4 months so we had several people in common to complain about. People are always doing something to make one of us shout out…LOL ;o) She is very vocal. *GASP* NO?!?!?! OK, So we are sitting on the “high” stools at a long middle bar, more of a place to put your drink, than anything, when out of the blue from a booth right behind us the word….”NAKED”. I whipped around to the booth and said, “did someone say Naked?” That is when he said it again…NAKED. I couldn’t believe my good fortune! Someone in close proximity had just given me an opportunity to “join” in on the fun! NAKED??? We were “in like Flynn”, and that is when we went from the “stools to the booth”. There we were, all of us jammed into a booth. There was 5 of them, 1 couple(getting ready to leave) and 3 guys. HMMMM I like the odds here. So here we are talking and whooping it up when OH MY STARS, Check out that Hottie over there…From across the room “Mr. Perfect for the night” came over to beckon Sockpuppet to dance. That is when I lost my wing man, lost her to the hottie near the Irish band. I am still liking these odds. 3 to 1 whooo hooo. Shot here, shooter there.. something about a Blow Job and not using you hands….Someone is going to get lucky tonight!!!! *****DISCLAIMER***** Yes sometimes…not often, women go out to just get some action. Typically this is on our own terms and conditions. Caution: Do not try this at home!!!**********

OK I can resume: Sockpuppet is sucking face with her Hottie and I am left to talk about NAKED w/ the 3 hotties in the booth. I have always been able to become “one of the guys, w/ boobs” fairly easily. We had the best time! (So great in fact I have no idea what their names are!!!) I can not remember how many shots or drinks we all had, but I recall the bartender shouting LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL!!!!!…here comes Sockpuppet, all happy as a clam at high tide. SMILE from ear to ear. That is when she reminds me that we have to get up at 5am to set up the garage sale? EEEERRRRRCCHHHHHH… Um Ok Ms. Buzz kill, “What garage sale are you talking about little missy? (Said w/ a drunken accent, put in my tinge of a southern drawl and you got me talking drunk) She says, Oh yeah you promised you were going to help me w/ a garage sale. CRAP…. I guess I did do that?!?!?! (To this day I do not know if I really had promised or if she took advantage of my “democularized” state.) So, in the words of every bartender, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here”. “Drink ‘em up and GET OUT!!!!!”
I had driven us there, but I was in no way driving us to Sockpuppets house. Even with one hand over one eye, I couldn’t see straight. I was smashed. WHOOO HOOOO Mission accomplished SIR!!! This is when she drove us to get food. I have no recollection of wanting food or being hungry, but I do remember ordering some kind of ice cream sundae, why? I don’t know! I think there was a cheeseburger and fries in there some where. I remember talking about Star Trek (Why? Again I have no idea. It’s not like I rage about Star Trek and TNG, just enjoyed TNG when it was on.) Anyway, when the sundae dropped, Out of the mouth of “Bambi” comes, “Oh no! Why can't we democularize it?” I am sure in my mind I thought that it said something completely rational…but, from that drive thru forward anytime either one of us got smashed, FUBAR, toasted, tipsy, or DRUNK, we would refer to it as being “democularized.”

So the next time you take a buddy out to get “tanked” or plastered….try getting them “democularized”. The other “moral” to the story is if you want the hotties to join you in your booth just use the word “Naked”…LOL ;o)