This weekend was such a complete waste of my time to work, I should have just stayed home and watched movies. Oh well. I did get some great material out of it for our daily blog.
So, I woke up Saturday morning and stummbled from the couch to the bathroom. Nature calls. I am searching for some kind of reading material...and there is the box of condoms that I bought. I decieded since, I am a captive audience to open it up and check them out. No, I have seen one before...just I was sitting there...ANYWAY, I discovered that everything you wanted to know is on the inside of the box. WHO the hell came up with that??? Put the damn directions on the back of the box?!?!?! Jesshhhhh. So anyway I was noticing and smerking about a couple of the "directions" that are provided.
Roll it on after sqeezing the tip. If it doesn't roll THROW IT AWAY and start over. I have to start over? LOL ;o)
After Sex: Dispose of the USED condom properly...DO NOT FLUSH DOWN THE TOILET...and no more "new" sex without a condom. BAWWAAAHHHHHH!!!!
WHAT??? I am laughing so hard at this point that I can't even finish reading the "instructions".
Then since I am awake and draging knuckles, I opt to make some coffee. AHHHHH coffee. This is my "necture of the Gods" and wouldn't dream of not being able to make my own sludge.
Reading the box of condoms, got me thinking about one night stands. Well, hey they are related right? LOL. (sleep deprivation and TA KILLYA HANGOVERS do that to me).
So here are some questions that I have for the male group of you...while I realize it may not reflect what you did or felt...maybe just some "guy insight" would be useful.
What I would like to know is why the guy goes to all the trouble of flirting and "dancing" with the gal all night, asking for phone numbers and exchanging flirtations, when the intention is only to get a one nighter?
Why not just be honest and say, "hey I am not looking for a girlfriend, just a good time." You know sometimes gals just want a physical thing too.
Why, if the intention is for one night do they want to have sex more than one time in the night and then 3rds in the morning? Was the sex that good, that they want more? Where they in the desert so long that even the sand looked like water? Are they storing it ups like camels and are worried that they won't get it again...for as long? How would I know if it were a horrible experience? If it was bad why would they want to do it again, and then AGAIN with the morning wood??? (I should hope this is an indication that we did it GREAT!!)
How am I supposed to know that the guy is only interested in the one night? IS there some kind of code that I should look for? Is there some kinds of signals that should be displayed? Why do you guys stay for breakfast, if it's the only one I am going to cook? *sigh* Wht not just leave with a bad excuse? Why not just flat out say, before the walk of shame to your car, that you just wanted to be a "player"...
OHHH and now the "biggie" How do I act when I see you again at the bar, resturant, in line at the bank? Do I act nice to you? Do you want me to say "Hi"? What if I mess up your game for tonights new conquest?
When do I get promoted from "one night stand" to "bootie call"? If so why did I get that promotion? What did I do that landed me that honor? Is the sex is that great, wouldn't it be possible that other aspects of me are fabulous too?
HMMMMMMMMMMMM I know that a guy thinks differently...THANK God for that. I am just trying to figure out what all the fuss is about with this One nighter...Most importantly what to look for, so that I can keep my heart on the right sleeve.
These are the questions that go through my mind as I sip coffee and watch my dog woof down her breakfast.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
One night stand and a box of condoms
Single Suburbian blah blah blah from Superstar at 3:58 PM
11 Left me pearls of wisdom:
I would surmise that being "promoted" to a booty call depends upon the following:
#1. The quality of the nookie
#2. Weather or not you are a good cook (hence the breakfast)
#3. How you react the next time they see you (i.e. do you get all hangy on posessive or do you play it cool?)
#4. The location of your pad in relationship the prefered drinking establishment.
That's just my guess, I could be totally wrong.
I would type more about this, but I'm not feeling well today and I don't feel like typing a lot.
Basically, always remember that men are pigs.
Just remember, not all men are just looking for a booty call.
The trick is figuring out which ones aren't. And being a guy, I've never had to deal with it from your perspective, so I don't have any good tips or clues to give you.
But I wish you success!
I've been involved in only a few one-night stands. I can tell you this:
1. Sometimes it is a game among guy friends.
2. Sometimes there are rebound issues (guy trying to either make an ex-girlfriend jealous, or something like that).
3. Some guys love the hunt, but once they have sampled their catch, they like to go hunting for another girl.
4. -Some guys just need some nookie - and don't want a relationship.
There are guys who are honest, but many guys are afraid of getting kicked in the nuts for telling the truth.
Becky: AAAHHHH But so I want to be promoted...no one likes a cling on!
Smokin: Yes I know. Guys are pigs...But what makes you NOT want to be such a pig and "hook" up for more than one night?
Stevo: I have learned so much....ANy you my friend bring tears to my eyes as I am crying from laughing so flippin hard. OK. I could pick up a one night stand at church??? I did get hit on one...in that "meet and greet line"..The guy said, "YOu look a lot like my 2nd wife." I said, "Yeah, Well exactly how many times have you been married?" He said, "Once".
Jim: Welcome. Thanks for stoppin by. I sware that I don't always talk about sex...just 1/2 the time!
LOS: SEX is a game? What kind of...pin the tail on the donkey are you playing??? LOL ;o)
It just seems like a lot of "work" for a one time deal!!! I mean they buy drinks they make us laugh and the "smooze" us all night. THEN...blow it all off to do it again? That is just wrong. Wasted.....
I should make that my new rule. If he can survuve a kick in the nuts for honesty...I can plan that he is in it for more than one night!
STEVO: STILL LOL
EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas....
What is wrong w/ the vets????
I agree with los....most men do not tell the truth cause well then they would get no action...here is the thing...if a guy likes you for reals...he will do anything...anything to be with you...I say make them wait..unless you are just looking for some one time lovin yourself...if ya can't love the one ya want then love the your with..hehehe
soap box: ps..there are some STD's that can be transimitted even with a condom...but I am sure you already knew that...I know...buzzz kill...sorry
A very key aspect to "attractiveness" is MYSTERY. If a guy went around with a placard 26/m/horny, would you look at him twice?
Maybe...how old is he again??
I personally like yoda's idea.
You owe me one lawn ornament and a case of toilet paper.
yes, i was checking out a box on saturday night (mint ones) and saw that the instructions are now on the inside....i much prefer a seperate insert that i can remove.
as for one night stands when you see them at that bar later, instead of saying hello, or ignoring them, i say flash them your boobs to see if they remember, if they act all stuck up and play dumb, you flash them the other end.
m
My motto is: Always assume it's a one night stand.
I once was at this party where I met this smokin' hot tennis instructor and one thing led to another and well...we started making out pool side.
I asked him if he wanted something more serious, or if this was only one night. Guess what?
He lied.
The really crazy thing is that I would have totally slept with him if I would have known it was only one night! :P
So yea, always assume it's a ONS, then you don't get emotionally involved. It's just easier. Besides, they'll chase you if they really want you.
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