TGIF!!! Eclectic Brain Day…

I had to work last night so I have no idea what crazy news items are going on… guess I’d better get to reading! Anyway hope y’all have a super weekend! Here are some of my favorite jokes, and Wedding crap (Its only crap because it's not for me!) that I got in e-mail this week!

***THE HORSE & CHICKEN

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched andsearched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farm house, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too began tosink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!) "When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!!!


***Shall We Gather at the River….

A southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river. "And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Sermon complete, he sat down. The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

***Since I am the Bridesmaid for a up and coming wedding (I know,"always the bridesmaid never the bride"...BLAH BLAH BLAH) I have been reading up on the "Do's and Don't s" For the shin dig. This song list cracks me up! Some of them I can not beleive anyone would still WANT!

Timeless. Classic. Reflecting several generations of brides and grooms, these oft-chosen first-dance songs may feature wedding imagery (e.g. "white lace and promises") or the dreamy melodies and heartfelt lyrics one associates with marriage and love. Have a handkerchief ready -- here are 50 first-dance standards that are still going strong.

1. "A Whole New World" (Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle) Seriously???
2. "As Time Goes By" (from Casablanca)
3. "At Last" (Etta James)
4. "Because You Loved Me" (Celine Dion)
5. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" (Elton John)
6. "Can't Help Falling In Love" (Elvis Presley)
7. "Chances Are" (Johnny Mathis)
8. "Close To You" (The Carpenters)
9. "Could I Have This Dance?" (Anne Murray)
10. "Dream A Little Dream" (Mamas & the Papas)
11. "Embraceable You" (Nat King Cole)
12. "Endless Love" (Diana Ross & Lionel Richie)
13. "Fascination" (Jane Morgan)
14. "Fever" (Peggy Lee)
15. "Forever and Ever, Amen" (Randy Travis)
16. "Forever" (Kenny Loggins)
17. "From This Moment" (Shania Twain & Brian White)
18. "Grow Old With Me" (Mary Chapin Carpenter)
19. "Here And Now" (Luther Vandross)
20. "I Finally Found Someone" (Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams)
21. "I Only Have Eyes For You" (The Flamingos)
22. "I Will" (The Beatles)
23. "If I Loved You" (from Carousel)
24. "In My Life" (The Beatles)
25. "It Had To Be You" (Harry Connick, Jr.)
26. "Lady In Red" (Chris DeBurgh)
27. "Love Theme To Romeo & Juliet" (from Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet)
28. "Marry Me" (Neil Diamond & Buffy Lawson)
29. "One Moment In Time" (Whitney Houston)
30. "Our Love Is Here To Stay" (Billie Holiday)
31. "So This Is Love" (James Ingram)
32. "Some Enchanted Evening" (from South Pacific)
33. "Something" (The Beatles)
34. "Somewhere" (from West Side Story)
35. "The Best Is Yet To Come" (Frank Sinatra)
36. "The Rose" (Bette Midler)
37. "Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You" (Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson)
38. "True" (Spandau Ballet)
39. "Unforgettable" (Nat King Cole)
40. "Up Where We Belong" (Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warrens)
41. "Wedding Song (There Is Love)" (Captain & Tennille)
42. "Wedding Song (There is Love)" (Petula Clark)
43. "We've Got Tonight" (Bob Seger)
44. "We've Only Just Begun" (The Carpenters)This is an acceptable choice for a 1980's wedding.
45. "When I Fall In Love" (Nat King Cole)
46. "Will You Marry Me?" (Vonda Shepard) The title speaks for it's self. They are already married?!?!?!?!
47. "Woman" (John Lennon)
48. "Wonderful World" (Louis Armstrong)
49. "You Are So Beautiful" (Joe Cocker) This is supposed to be ablout the couple not just the bride.
50. "Your Song" (Elton John)

Tell me which ones caught your eye! Maybe share what song you had or are planning to have...LOL, maybe someone has/had Rob Zombie, "let the bodies hit the floor"! Now that would be funny.