For those of you who do not recognize the cast of "Men in Trees", Let me introduce you. I started watching this show (very skeptical BTW, due to the Lead Actrees, Anne Heche. I think she is really our there. ~waves hand back and forth next to head~) Anyway, last weeks episode included the infamous "Jack" character, hooking back up with his EX Lynn, WHOM left him and now has returned to Elmo, Pregnate with another mans baby. This leave Marion (Anne's Heche) out in the cold and back to the "friend" status with "Jack".
This is Jack(see picture below). Isn't he just YUMMIE???? OK so I wouldn't mind waking up next to his beautiful blue eyes every morning, stinky breath and all. ~snaps finger~ Hey, you over here...Focus people....Focus.
OK so after wataching the episode, and of course my own life experience, (see New Guy blog entries) I began reflecting on this topic. "Men who get back together with thier EX's"
So fellow bloggers, Why do men get back together? What is it about the "history" that they share or is it the "comfort" of knowing what to expect? I think this applies equally to us women. I mean, these men are "EX's" for a reason right? So, why do we women go back to men? What is it about the "chemistry" or mental logic that we do this to one another?
8 Left me pearls of wisdom:
Ay ay ay.
I could write a friggin' book about exes and the going back and forth shit.
Let's see ... college boyfriend and I were on and off again for @ seven years. Why? Lots of history, mostly. That and it was like a sadistic competition for us - like a jealousy thing, kwim? If one had someone else, the other would suddenly get interested again. Very toxic.
"The Mindfucker" ... on and off again for four years. God, it seemed longer. For me, it was the "challenge" of trying to make him want me back ... and oh yeah, the sex. Honey, this guy must have been a female in a past life because he knew the parts ... OK, gotta stop, I'm getting sweaty thinking about those romps. With 20/20 hindsight, I can pretty much conclude it was "the chase" ... he always kept me chasing and thus, coming back.
Now, KAATN had a "girlfriend" for close to, wait for it, 15 years. She was a total piece of work. Plus, they lived in separate states for the majority of the "relationship." He was in a constant state of breaking it off with her, but it never "finalized." Why? Guilt. She was the Queen of Guilt Infliction and he couldn't take the drama of the "breakups" (she'd call him at work crying ... you can't call a cop at work and try to inflict emotional trauma, that's just wrong0 so he'd cave. Weird relationship, though, weirdest I've ever seen. And all of his friends and family? HATED her ... she was looneyfuckingtoons.
So the answer (in a big friggin' nutshell) is:
1. One person is a wuss
2. Familiarity/history
3. Tantric sex
4. Laziness - college boyfriend and I were crappy but it was easy to stay with him than to start all over ... boy, I was so stupid in my 20's :-)
Wow. iai's got a lot more baggage than I thought. (kidding)
I was just going to say that maybe the guy has tried the whole "grass is greener" thing. Guys soon find out that the grass is NOT greener with their roommate's sister, then they want to go back to the green grass that was not AS green as as the grass they thought was greener. Sooner or later another pasture comes along which also looks greener. Then guys find out that the grass is NOT actually greener with their secretary, and want to return to their original pasture.
I think the real question is why on God's Green Earth would a girl take a guy back into her pasture if he'd already left (at least) once for greener fields? Lock the gate, ladies!
IAI: WOW! I could have written that! It was like a slice from my past..*haunting music here*
2buy4: OK that is just it, why if the grass is greener, that means that men are leaving on their terms. My question is: Why do men take back women who dumped them? I am with you on the "taking men back" and locking the gate. I honestly can not imagine taking back my Ex-finace' that told me he "loved" me, but wasn't in love with me. Then to add insult to injury, told me that I was FAT and would never be as health conscious as him....~enters ex w/ bag of McDonalds Supersized meals~ OHHHH YEAAAHHHH! NEVER would I consider...~shivers~
What about us women who stray then go back and you men let us??? I just don't get this...
Mindfucker used to tell me he'd realized he wasn't truly happy when he wasn't with me and I would stupidly instantly forget the past bullshit. (Stupid 20's) So he'd come right out and employ the "green grass" principle ...
As for why men take us back ... my exes always took me back because:
1. Pressure from friends/family
2. Tantric sex
3. They realized they couldn't get another hottie like me
4. Women tend to go back under subterfuge ... we get the guy to take us back by convincing them we've "changed" in the way they wanted us to - of course, we're lying to ourselves which just makes us miserable.
But why do guys take a "straying" woman back? I think it makes us more worthwhile in their eyes - someone else wanted us so it must have increased our "worth" ... a crock of shit, yeah, but it's a good theory. Plus, Mindfucker always reappeared whenever I met someone else ...
I only cheated on a guy once - long story, crappy relationship, I wanted out, I had no use for him, he was rebound boy, yada yada yada. Anyway, I met Mindfucker when I was with this guy and "strayed." At this point, rebound boy and I were platonic but he was in denial I wasn't in to him anymore ... but when he realized I was seeing someone else, instead of saying, "Bitch! Get out of my life!" he was all, "What can I do to keep you?" In a word: PATHETIC.
Your ex-fiance, BTW, is on my list - Damn, my list of your people is getting huge ...
I've tried, but the whole go back scenerio doesn't work for me.
IAI: Good, he works for Boeing in SEATTLE...makes you want to think twice before getting on a 737 or a 777 huh?!?!?!? LOL ;o)*opps* was that too m uch info??!?! LOL
Jali: "two roads diverged in a wood and I...I took the one less traveled by"....
No regrets...
Tried to hook back up with an ex once and the sex just wasn't as good, so it was no go for me.
I don't understand it either. Had an ex dump me to go back to the gf that cheated on him and treated him like shit. She was totally trashy too. Oh well, better for me. I met my husband a year later.
From the guy point of view.
Its the SEX.
We pretty much know how to push the right buttons to get laid. Quick easy, Thanks, I'll call you tomorrow! Bu bye
Post a Comment