What is it about being told "no thank you" or "I am not interested" has become so hard for us as Americans to accept? After all we are the richest country right? (I think that it's BULLSH*T, but that is the perception right?)
Lets take for example my life. (DUH, it's my blob?!?!?) OK I have been interviewing for a new contract or perm job in the HR area. While I am hopeful for a career change I am still considering my current job field. (It's always easier to find a job when you have one theory). I get in the mail letters from the companies that I have 1. sent in my resume to and 2. "thank you but NO thank you" letters...AKA rejection letters.
Why is it, that when I get these letters, it's so hard to take them seriously? I mean after spending time to interview via telephone for about 30 min of my day as well as, a face to face interview. This process which takes 2-3 hours out of my day to drive to the location, meet, greet, fill out 5 pages of application/interview info, then meet one on one. Then 2 months later...(obviousl I was a contender huh?? I mean 2 months?? I have chicken in the freezer older than that!) I get a letter, sincerly thanking me for my time and letting me know what "wonderful and brilliant" qualifications I have...BUT....We have selected another candidate that more (MORE?!?!?!) meets our hiring goals??? (WHO IN THE F**K writes this stuff?? Bush Jr. whit house press corp Writters?) Please. Just tell me, poh, I don't know, THE TRUTH?!?!?!? Something like you can't afford me, or that I am OVERQUALIFIED...I love that one by the way...I still don't get why I am overqualified to run a McDonalds cash register...I can see the pictures...I don't even need to read or speak english! *ORDER UP*
Then there is the dating brush offs. ALL of which I have used in one pinch or another. "I really like you..but" or the..."Hey I know that we could make great friends" Why don't guys just come out with it when they are "trying to let us down easy"? LOL I would be super open to "Hey (we) I think your hot, but your gal pal is hot too..set me up!" Vs. "Hey I know things didn't really get going for us, so would it be ok if I ask out ______?" SURE cuz I am her pimp?!?! I guess either way I would be fired up...no win for the guys...bad example. But how about the truth. "I don't like you, but if you want to keep buying me drinks and have drunk sex...SUREEEE!" (Not that I have ever done that...HA)JUST KIDDIN!!! Jesh..Y'all are so serious today...bloggin' about left wing and right wing...;o)
BACK to my topic today...
So when did we Single and Married alike all become sales people? Have you heard yourself have this conversation with your child:
Child: CAN I HAVE more _________ PLEASE???
Adult: No
Child: Why?
Adult: Because I said so.
Child: OK, but you promised yesterday that I could do _______ (negotation of a new desire)
Adult: Well, lets see.
Child: So Can I have more __________ Please???(Back to the original request)
Adult: I said no. Now if you don't stop whinning you can't have any chocolate.(adult negotiate back)
Child: OK. Will you get me_________________ Please??? (on to new requesst more outlandish than the first)
Adult: NO and I mean it. Go to your room.
So we learn from childhood that we all must ask for what we want several times before we either 1. break "them" and get what we want or 2. until we ourselves loose something that we value to appreciate the WHY we must accept the final awnser as FINAL. SO today I ask. WHY do we as adults act so surprised when I (we) don't take rejection well? I think it is a FINAL to the debate, the end to the potential of getting what we want. The letter is so, final. I can't debate as to why they are making a bad choice or why I would have been better...A phone call, is so similar...Although I do give "good phone"....I digress...
I think that possibly as a female, I was taught to "play hard to get" and that I should say No when I mean yes, to seem coy or that there is more "teasing" or taunting that should be done..."boys/Men love the chase..." How have y'all handled rejection?
~siclaimer: I am not responsible for any illegal actions past, present or future from this blog~
;o)
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Rejection....
Single Suburbian blah blah blah from Superstar at 1:12 PM
16 Left me pearls of wisdom:
I came by to give you a thumbs up for the Bush war debate thing-I don't even know where I was-followed Steve's link.
What you have here is great, Superstar.
The 'converstaion' between the adult and the child is really hitting home with me right now. I caught myself TODAY telling Thing 1 'because I said so'. And he came back with 'well, can I have a reason please?'
To say that I was impressed is not even coming close. I was floored! And then I explained to him the 'reasons' why we couldn't. And he understood.
I like, like, like what you have to say-and I am sorry I cannot express that simpler.
But: ta-da! I LIKE IT!
WOOOO!
~d: As a former weekend nanny, and of course this month spending time w/my neices gives me an edge on the parent thing....Thank you! ;o)
As for the war...I was burried in it at the AFB. I was on a DOD contract. I actually was there on the day Bush flew in. Oh I would have LOVE to shake his hand. ;o) *sigh* but I will have to continue writting those letters to my congressmen...arguing like a kid...for WHAT I WANT! ;o)
Just stopping in to say thanks for coming over to my house and share in the little debate between Steve & I.
Hopefully any day now you'll get that letter begging you to come aboard :) Good luck in the job search.
I hate job interviews mostly because you know they probably already have someone in mind and are usually only going through the motions to be P.C.
I dont negoiatate with my kids anymore. I just say no, end of story. You dont like, there is the door. Now mine are 17 going on 21, and 14 going on 21. Just wait till you hit the Teen years. Its not pretty trust me.
Rejection? Is that the same as Stalking with a restraining order?
I not only hate interviewing, I hate giving the interview. We both know we are full of shit but can we just get down the nitty gritty? Of course not. It's so ridiculous.
As a person exploring employment opportunities outside of my current company, I feel your pain - I hate putting all that time in preparing, and interviewing, and getting nothing but a crappy letter. Ugh!
I absolutely suck at rejection. I have always taken it to heart in the past.
I have gotten those letters too. In one letter, they actually said all the same things, then they told me all about the person they did hire in the letter including their name and all the qualifications they did have that I apparently didn't. That was overboard in my mind.
It's like turning someone down for a date, then telling them later about the hot sex you're having with the person you rejected them for.
So, my curiosity has been piqued (?)
what did you buy from Rev. Steve? I bought the thong. Truth!
I hate the interview process and have to agree with Dirty - we both know it's BS, can we get down to the nitty gritty?
That's right that is right...I do not know how I got my job..I think my father secretly paid the hospital off..as if to say..she spent a lot of time in school please make her think she knows something...
~d...
She bought the t-shirt.
And I'm still waiting for the picture.
Ty, Steve!
I bought the baseball T-Shirt...Tight little bugger!
Pictures got lost in my phone and I have not had a digital camera to get the pic.
I will be taking pics and downloading them on my vacation...Wedding and bachlorette pics too!
hey superstar-I finally added you to my blog-roll whatever the Hell. I figured I had to get in there and flippin alphabetize-so I added you on in-cool?
How the HELL do ppl do fancy crap like how they separate these bloggers from those bloggers? It was sucha MESS at my place-I thought A,B,C was the way to go-maybe I should go check YOURS out...Hmmmm
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
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Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
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