So just "yesterday" it seemed that I was 12 skipping rope and daydreaming about getting kissed by my first boyfriend and the whole pillowcase on my head as we picked out our wedding gown and flowers. We would talk for hours about how our lives would be so much different from our parents. How we wouldn't grow up and "do those things" that our parents did...
Then I woke up and now I am this lady...
What the hell happened? How did I get to be 35, never married, no kids, changed careers and still don't "own" anything....As my Grandma put's it..I don't have any roots down.
I am not trying to judge myself, rather just identify with why I am at the divide in the road. What choices did I make that put me at this spot in the forest? Why did I take the road less traveled by? (Robert Frost)
Then I started thinking, why is this such a bad thing. Why is being the ONLY girl at the 20 year reunion (which is still 3 years from now) that has NEVER been married and has no kids such a bad thing? Why have I set myself up to feel like a failure when in fact I am just LIVING life? So it's not the plans I had when I was 12 and sitting in the tree house planning my wedding to Dean L. LOL ;o) So I am not living in a bedroom house with 3 cars and an unbeleivable Barbi dream house. Who said that was such a great deal anyway...*sigh*
When does life become what you want out of it? I have been thinking about this lately and I think that "we" (society) has gone and put WAY too much on "timing" of what is right and wrong. Look at Demi Moore and Ashton Kuthton. Would we have given a rats azz if it was a 20 year difference in a man? NO! Hell NO! Hell, we would have thrown him a bacholor party and celebrated his landing a 20 something HOTTIE! LOL ;o)
So what I am not married. Maye this means that I will be on my first when y'all are on your seconds...Not that I am predicting divorce for any, y'all. Just saying that 50% of you won't make it. So what I haven't met Mr Right. Well, then again, maybe I have and I just passed him by. Maybe I just need to let go of what I "thought" I wanted and accept the reality of what I really want. Perhaps my subconscience is directing me away from that on purpose. (PHEW DEEP OVER here...~gets out shit kicking boots~
"I came to the divide in the road, and I...
I chose the road less traveled by..."
5 Left me pearls of wisdom:
As long as you're not that crazy lady at the end of the street with all the cats, you'll be OK :-)
Seriously, screw the "rules" and just live life so you're happy. That's what counts.
As long as you are having fun, that's all that matters. Sure, you can have fun being married and having a family, BUT you sure as hell can have fun when you are single, as well.
IAIL MOI with cats? Good lord someone just shoot me if that happens!!!
Los: Thanks. I am having fun. I think, and I plan on expanding in part II that my immediate "friends" circle is all married w/ children. I have NO single friends left. I have acquaintance friends...just not peeps that I would "call" in a crisis...you know?
Ah! The questions I ask myself ever day.
Great blog. I got here via Christina.
I would love to have your Black Forest cookie recipe for the holidays, if you're inclined to share.
Check.
Shoot Super if she goes crazy and acquires cats.
Roger.
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