OK Here is the update from my August wedding/reunion with first college boyfriend. GEG guy and I have been exchanging phone calls over the last few months. He would call me after I got off work or I would call him. Basically, we have been visiting once or twice a week about anything and everything. ~chiky chicky bow wow~
I had no idea where this whole thing might go. I figured after the whole "hook-up" (what happens onf vacation, stays on vacation-motto) was just that, a fab one night vacation hook-up. To my pleasent surprise it has actually been more than that.
He invited me to visit while I was on "fall break" from school. I fully intended to go to Spokane and get my grove on. Then the URI from hell, hit me like a ton of bricks and I ended up w/ my wings clipped and "grounded" to my bed ALONE (UGH).~throws away Dr. note~
So I started pricing flights for a Thanksgiving day quicky....*gasp* To my horror, the flights are already FULL and prices are $500 for a round trip ticket (I would never even TRY to use my freebies on the holiday...NEVER!!! ~shakes head back and forth~). So I called him and asked If I bought a ticket, for him to come to PHX for vetrans day weekend, if he want to come. [[HERE is the history with my dysfunctional family. If I flew to GEG without saying anything to my family, they would KILL me. Shoot first ask questions later. SO if I am going to buy a plane ticket I might as well get more bang for my buck! *wink *Wink* AND not have to listen to my family fight over WHO I spent more time with on my trip.]]]OK history lesson over.
GEG guy called last night and said we could split the cost and he would be willing to fly HERE and visit. WHOOO HOOO! I love it. Here is what I am seeing as potential problems IF it works out. 1. I would need to move to GEG. He started a business and it would not be something that he could relocate easily. My business is fairly mobile and I could easily build a client base there. Plus I can teach.
2. I would have to get my teaching creds for a whole different state.
3. I would not want to move unless we were married. How could I have a husband in a different state?
4. My respitory issues are one of the biggest reasons that I left the NW.
So how do I have a successful relationship that can lead to marriage when we live so far from each other. Should I even be putting this apple cart so far out there? We both are in a stage of out lives that we both want many of the same things. Marriage, kids, career...Maybe I should just see how the "visit" will go...What are the thoughts from my blogging community???
Friday, October 27, 2006
Spokane guy gossip
Single Suburbian blah blah blah from Superstar at 2:01 PM
10 Left me pearls of wisdom:
Hon, the very most important thing to consider is: What will make you the happiest? If this is the right guy for you, could you compromise? Like, maybe move there for a few years, soldier thru the health issues, then eventually move back to PHX?
Many, if not most, states have reciprocal agreements for teaching credentials. You should be able to look on the other state's web site and find out.
I don't believe that there's only one person that we can be happy with. On the other hand, who knows how long it might be before you meet the next one? Weigh this carefully, think with both your heart and your head.
Above all, I want you to be HAPPY!!!
Ugh. He's a cutie, which does not make it easier, does it?
I know that distance is tough and it never worked for me. The pre-KAATN mindfucker taught me how much distance can suck. But you know what? It is possible. I was a very good distance person but mindfucker was not. As long as both people are willing to make a GOOD effort, it can work! So why not continue to try it out and see where it leads? (Yo ... those weekends after a month-long absence? H.O.T. and Y.U.M.)
I also know how important it is to do what is best for YOU. I know it sounds cliche but it's so very true. Back when KAATN and I were in that friends-turned-more stage and I had an opportunity to leave, I chose to stay. He was adamant about me making the decision for what was best for me and was even pushing me to go (it was a fantastic opportunity) but in the end, I opted to stay ... why? For lots of reasons ... opportunity was great but not as great as it had been built up in my head and well, KAATN is KAATN ... and deep down I knew he was worth hanging around for. (Fuck, in Calcutta, USA. Shoot me now.) But I'll tell you this right now, if he were in a cold, snowy, rainy place ... hasta la vista, baby. I can't take a location like that so for me, that would be a HUGE factor.
Sigh. I'm rambling.
But I think you should take it visit by visit and be sure that you guys are on the same page ... yeah, yeah, yeah you both want the same stuff but do you want each other? Know what I mean? We all wanna eat and we all hafta eat but I'd rather starve than eat a Brussel's Sprout. (Not that cute GEG - what is that anyway, those initials?) - is a Brussel's Sprout. He's more like ... a sweet potato. Nice cooked but notsomuch raw ... meaning it takes effort to cook that damn thing.)
Shit. Rambling woman.
Sorry.
Did that help any?
Take it step by step. No need to start planning on moving just yet. But, after a while, you'll know in your heart what's right.
i say do what feels right for you. in the end do what makes you happy, life is short ya know? grab happiness when you find it.
m
This can totally work. See how the visit goes and if your heart is crying out for more, listen to it.
He is a hunk, Super! Wowee! :) You go girl.
Long distance relationships CAN work.
Especially when both people want it bad enough. Plus with email and cell phones, it doesn't seem so "distance-y" anymore.
So yea, I pretty much agree with everyone else.
--snow
Jim: Thanks. I agree, I think that there is more than "one" someone for us all. I just don't want to be the "the one I settled for" type.
IAI: GEG is the airport code for Spokane. It was named Geiger field. hense the GEG prior to being called the Spokane International...Which confused me since we don't have a "customs" there...How can we be international? Anyway...I like the ida that I could be on my own, independant and see one another on "our" time and make it HOT and YUMMY! Then I know WHEN it works out that I would make the right choice. My negativity toward GEG is more because my guilt dishing relatives live there and *sigh* they are a handful. I am sure I could make it thru the winter w/ lots of snuggle time and hot chocolate! ;o)
Guy: LOL Welcome! Good to hear that it all worked out for you.
Thanks for stopping by!
Los: One visit at a time. GOT IT!
Molly: I have lived w/ my heart on my sleeve so many times. I just don't want to act without being prepared for the consequences...I guess I am always looking for the "exit strategy" Cuz in my prior relationships, the "other shoe fell" and I wasn't as cautious...
Snow: LOL :o) I will see how the visit goes. ;o)
I think you already have the right attitude to make this work! I'd say wait for the visit and see how it goes from there ...
Wow sounds like one of those made for TV movies or something. :)
Seriously just go for it. What the heck do you have to lose.
I have to agree with a lot of people here. As a friend with benefits, he makes you happy. But if you love him, well, no amount of space will seperate the love. effort just needs to be made here.
I wish you the best of luck in all this!
If he comes I SO have gto give him the Sissy Staredown. Besides, I know you are dying to see me and Anna again.
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