Hot! hot! hot!

After several days off (secretly at the Emmy awards in LA) I am BACK!!!! Thank you all for not burning the house down this time. There is a question about the bananna hammock I found in the pool filter...(KEVIN). ~dangling something looking like spandex tiger print~

My sister in her bordom at the check out line...(damn impulse items) bought a COSMO magazine. LOL ;o) I haven't bought a cosmo in YEARS...I mean MOI??? little miss frugal? Why on earth would I buy a magazine I know is available online??? OK so WHY did she buy September's issue?

"101 sex tips" [[[ The true title on page 158 is "101 sex tips to try before you die".]]]

HMMMMFFFFTTT.

OK. So what does cosmo know that I don't? Lets take a look. I read them out loud to her as she prepared dinner for us adults. As I read the 101 list occationally I or my sister would giggle and then she or I would add our two cents in. Eventually, I looked up (around #69, *snort* I said 69.) and stated, "you know I notice that this is all about "HIM". We both laughed and continued reading. Since the list is so amusing, I thought I should share some of these HOT secrets with you (and save you the $3.50 at the impulse check out lane.)

#19: Turn on a fan while rubbing him down with ice cubes. The fan makes the ice feel extra cold against his skin, and when you put your mouth against his body, he'll get goose bumps from the sudden shivery sensation.
#36: get a brazillian bikini wax, then torture your guy by straddling his chest and telling him he can look, but not touch....
#53 You know how we somethimes have movie night? Surprise me with porno movie night.
#69 Turn off the AC or crank up the heat. Sweaty sex is just so primal and animalistic( AZ in summer? hmmmm not to mention the thunder storms...ahhhhhh very sexy.)

Now on to some that I actually thought would be more realistic and female gratifying.

#87 With friends nearby, grab my butt, make out with me, and smile SUGGESTIVELY. I want them to really envy the fact YOU'RE with ME.
# 87 LOOK into my eyes during the DEED. The emotional connection is AMAZING.
#101 Lets stay in bed while we wind down from orgasm. I really love being so close to you, feeling your pulse slow down and listening to your heartbeat return to normal.

SO now that you have finished "doing the deed", let's turn our cosmo to page 74 and discover what HIS post coital position means: (my sister and I talked about this and it totally rang true for our "men" see if it decodes yours...)
#1 The half hugger: when he does this it means: It means he is easy going and even though he is spent, he knows that you probably CRAVE postsex contact. so this is his effort to give that to you.

#2 The Nook Nuzzler: CHA-CHING!!! You just hit the emotional jackpot. A stud who prefers to hold you against his necxk wants MORE intimact. he is Pulling you into his most VULNERABLE spot. The Jugglar. (If you hold him toward your neck he's a passive dude who wants YOU to call all the shots)

#3 The spooner: He is confident and CRAZY about you. However this can suggest that he maybe a bit OVER possesive of you. (too much? he will have himself all over you top to bottom) FLIP side if he pushes up against you he is needy and wants to be taken care of by YOU.

#4 The Islander: Of the guy rolls on his back post booty, you maybe dealing with a commitmentphobe. Whenever you rotate your body 90 degrees from someone you double the space between you. So this means that he is cutting himself off from you and creating distance both physically and emotionally.

Which one is your man? LOL ;o)

****FYI***** This issue of cosmo is a great learning tool for any mothers of teens for a lesson on the "first Gyno trip" I found it very informative for preparing the young ladies to be prepared to what the instraments look like to feelings that we all have at our favorite "yearly" visit. As a Auntie I keep all these "articles" tucked away for the day when they would rather ask "auntie than "mommy" questions.