Another writing assignment...

I must be looking for extra credit this week, but then again, the assignment just called me to write about it.
2.) Describe a situation that forced you to confront a neighbor.

Anyone ever lived next door to the wicked witch and her flying monkeys???? Really? Well, sit down, get your beverage and get ready to shake your head and laugh so hard that your beverage will come out your nose. Ready? OK

First, she is always up all night doing gawd knows what, and doing it so loud that it wakes both of us up.(this is when I lived with a roomie)???? No? You have never had a star of 16 and pregnant live above you, stomping and swearing at you?

Well, let me be the first to tell you, what y'all have been missing out on!

It all started about a month before Christmas. I was decorating my living tree in the living room. (I have 3 trees, 2 artificial and I buy a living one each year.) It was about 11:00am and I had the digital cable Christmas songs playing at a reasonable rate. Next thing I hear is my walls shaking from that booming base and my ceiling fan started to wobble. Then it starts. Stereo wars. I looked up and cursed the sounds that are interrupting my MERRY Christmas. I turned my music down, and a short time later the rumbling from up stairs also went down.

After that lack of merriment with my music selection, I became cognizant of every trip up and down the stairs they took...OH my....stomping up and down like they all weigh 300+Lbs. Shortly after all that I had my annual Christmas bash. I go all out, tell the neighbors, and hire a karaoke host. We blast the music until Midnight or so and then take it to a bar to finish out the night...provided we haven't partaken too much. I always make sure that all the neighbors are there and having lots of fun and booze...I think they all came for the awesome food and to sing like they are auditioning for family guy.

Weeks go by and everything seemed to be back to normal. That is when the dueling stereo started back up. I was getting ready for work and the song 'edge of 17" came on the radio. I cranked it up and proceeded to use my round brush like a mike and practiced at the top of my lungs.

I heard stomping and loud vibrating stereo competing with mine. when the song was over I turned it down. Hers continued. I left so I could care less if she kept stomping and playing the music loud. Sadly when I came home at 2:30am she was loudly playing music and slamming her door, stomping up and down the stairs. At this point I am exhausted. It's 2:30am and I have been on my feet since 7pm slinging combo drink, 12 oz and 26 oz curls all night. I just want some sleep.

SOOOOO, I do what any NORMAL person does, I walk up there and knock on the door. Wait till she opens. She sees me in the peep hole and doesn't open. SOOOO I bang louder on the door, and cover the peep hole. She rips the door open and starts screaming at me. "HOW Daaaare you bang on my door at this hour." I said, "listen, can you hold it down up here? It's late and we all just want to get some sleep,before I work my double tomorrow." She replied, "Go F**K yourself B**tch, with your loud music and parties that go until all hours of the night. I don't have to do s**T." Then she slammed the door in my face.

HMMMMMMFFFFF Now what? I thought? And What parties I asked myself? ~shakes head~

I did the next reasonable thing, called the apartment security. You know what choice words she had for me?? Well she had even more four letter words to say to security. The noise continued. crazy loony bird...so I called the police. Swear to gawd, they were there in about 15 minuets. I couldn't believe it. They politely knocked on the door, wait for her to respond.

She opened her door, and proceeded to tear the officer Cpt 5.0 a new a-hole. I just kept thinking, AHHH her Momma must be so proud. *sigh*

So, doing what any nosey person would do, I went to the office to talk to the manager about the event and to file a formal complaint. Come to find out that her "live in" squatting boyfriend, is a COP!!!!! ~looks around~ REALLY?

A few weeks later 11:30pm on a week night, and I had an early morning, what do I hear? THE VACUUM right over my bedroom...on and on and on, then the moving of furniture on the floor, while the vacuum is STILL going...~rolls eyes~ What is wrong with this crackish whore???? ( Im not saying that I KNOW for sure...she just seems crackish) So what does a superstar like me do? Call 5.0? PSSSSSSHHHHHTTTTTAAA . HA! HA! (FYI DON"T mess w/ me! I know things and people!) So here is what I did. (Not my best moment, but it solved the problem...sort of.).

I put my hair coloring gloves on, my black workout t-shirt and pants. I then walked around the building to where the electric watts/readings are. I then turned off the switch to HER apartment. That's right. The whole apartment went dark. a brief silence and then *WTF mumbled screaming continues* I walked back into my apartment on stealth mode and smiled as I went back to bed.

Turns out that after several phone calls about how she paid her bill and why is the power off, oh, and a trip out from the local power company(which is a $50 fee) they got the power back on. *snaps fingers* OH, I almost forgot. She has a kid that is 18-21 months old in this environment and getting section eight housing...YOUR TAX DOLLARS AS WORK!!!! Then next three weeks was like living in H-E-L-L. Loud music, slamming doors, screaming at us people, peeing off the porch onto my porch and grass area, banging on our door, and anything they could think of to annoy...I call 5.0. I kept my distance, I filed the reports with the apartment manger. I finally called CPS and reported her. I know people who know people. So, I called in a few favors and what do you know, she was sent packing!

Looking back I am laughing while sharing this. I am just sooo thankful to live in a wonderful neighborhood! Who else is thankful???