The "Tao of happy single, couples"

Bloggers, it has been my intention for some time to write a book. One, two , three, really, I am just procrastinating my real passion. Anyway, I have tossed idea after idea over in my mind and chewed it up like gum and I think it is to the point that I have chewed all the flavor out of it. Then I started to think, I have posted 3-5 a week in the past and why not create my book one blog at a time. Plus, I would have the advantages of others comments. So, I am hoping y'all don't mind being my mini editors!



The Tao part I



Relationships. I am sure most of you are thinking, what do you know, since, up until about six months ago you were still single. Well, The fact is relationships are around us no matter if it is romantic, friendship, or even the people that we "hang" with at our jobs. Face it, we all have a value to one another. So, how do we get the most out of our relationships? There are many ways that people cash in on "who we know". More importantly, how do we get to the point that harmony is possible.



Let's take for example living with the opposite sex. *GASPS* Living together isn't just about what drawer is that in, or THAT couch is SOOOOO not going in here. It's learning how to live together. I have to chuckle a bit, since my own OCD kicks in when it comes to the household.

Beyond the little things of toilet paper roll on right side up or down. The toothpaste squeezed from the bottom or in the middle. It boils down to fulfilling the others expectations. Men do not have the same "ideas" or expectations in a given situation. Women do. Women tend to have a quid pro quo when it comes to our view on life. We assess a value on an object or a task. We are so used to multitasking, that we genetically take for granted the duplicity of our ability to do multipule things at once.

It's funny, because I catch myself doing this! I think, "How can he seriously walk, right passed that and NOT pick it up?" Hmmmmmphhhh.

Unfulfilled expectations can absolutely ruin the friendship, relationship and the excitement of love. Here is the way you can overcome this. First assign him simple tasks. Second be sure to provide praise EVERY time he does it. Next, correct any task that was not completed to your liking. Finally, remember that Men are creatures of logic, not emotion.

Unlike women, men are able to compartmentalize things. The fact that they are able to do this, allows them to be less emotional about constructive criticism. They have a single mindedness about getting to the finish line. Women are so busy diving into the "how did you feel" part of it, that we tend to think, "what would I want to hear". This is pointless and overall men don't even see past the task.

Let's take for example the task of vacuuming the house. I assigned this to PhxMan. Now, the first time I did this I used the formula. Ask, see it complete, praise and we both are happy. So what happened? We increased the need of once a week to 3-4 times a week...Problem? I forgot to confirm with him, that we (His task) agreed to it. Then, I got frustrated and pissy, thinking, HOW does this NOT bother you? Meanwhile, he didn't HEAR me say anything. Conclusion: He didn't know that, one, it wasn't meeting my satisfaction and two, that he even had an increased demand of needing to do it more frequently. Men see the items in the house as having "rules". The women have a "rule" about something in a certain way we like things done. Men don't want to upset us and in fact do the opposite.

Rather than get upset, remember that most men will not initiate the cleaning. They do when they run out of dishes, and that is when they seek to clean the pile on both sides of the sink. The other is when it finally bugs them more than sitting in the sink. Women, stay with me. It's important that you understand that really Men are really simple creatures and that they, want physical pleasure, food, and sleep. So, ladies, our tasks need to be simple. Be sure to provide praise. Think of a dog and teaching it to fetch. Pet him and praise him. Give him a biscuit or two! Men LOVE to be praised for a job well done.

So bloggers? What do you think? Men? Any comment are welcome!